I write this as a confession of sorts. you see it was in 1980 when i was a teenager that i had my first experience with a succubus. and i change my life forever. i had a normal childhood. was interested in girls. as well as the outdoors. i come from a family that was christian but were mixed denominations catholic and methodist. my parents believed in the paranormal. but not to a point of being superstitious. as well as being tolerant and open minded. i had learned from my mother that on her side of the family they were sensitives. that is they could see or feel ghosts. as well as being accused of being witches.
to this end i guess it was meant. some will say that it is a curse. but i had learned it could be a blessing. but enough with my background.
as i said my story began in 1980. around the fall time. i was in high school. i was haunted by dreams of a beautiful woman with long dark hair. and yellow green eyes. i didn’t think much of the dreams. i figured that any guy had them. that is until the dream became real. it was then i having paranormal experiences. for each night i was visited by a presence. at first i thought the family pet a half german shepherd; half lab retriever was crawling into bed with me. but when i turn to scold her. she wasn’t there. and as the time went by. the presence became bolder and layed next to me. and the dreams that i had became sexual in nature. being a teenager and always thinking about sex. i took it as a blessing. and as time went by. i welcome this presence. and learned she was the woman in the dream.
i never told my parents about it. although i suspect they knew. but never pressured me about it. as long as i was happy. that’s what mattered.
i had once brought up about spirits. and can they have sex? i had asked. my father told me about the succubus. that the church always believed these entities were demonic in nature in the old days. but later ruled them out as being that of the mind.
my mother on the other hand pretty much knew the reality of spirits. because her family were involved with the paranormal. she had said that at times a spirit would return to a love one. and be with that person.
but no girlfriend that i knew died. and i didn’t bring up the subject anymore. anyway i was enjoying it. this spirit relationship was wonderful.
my relationship with my succubus continued into my adult life. and it never affected my social life. not in a negative way. she was there when a relationship ended. always offering comfort. however my relationship with her started to die down in the 90s. and completely ended after my parents died in 1999.
i wasn’t really interested that much in the paranormal or mysticism and the occult. but when you experience death. and a lost of a phantom lover. you want to know about the subject. so i started reading books on the paranormal as well as shamanism and mysticism; especially the kabbalah. and other books of occultic lore.
then around i 2009 i found a book entitled sexual alchemy by donald tyson. and learned you could actually summon spirits for sex. i read the book with such hunger. triggered by loneliness. and a need of companionship. at this time i had a streak of bad luck in money as well as love.
so i felt i had nothing to lose. despite my christian background. i had learned there was much more to the world and to the universe. then the polarize poles of good and evil. my mother had taught me that there were other spirits that existed. and they were not all angels and demons.
so i set out to perform a simple ritual based on what the book taught. and had drawn a sigil of the spirit whom i wish to contact with.
so on a friday night i performed the ritual. at first nothing happened. so i closed the ritual. and sat on the bed. and meditated.
no sooner than i did this. i felt a warm presence beside me. on my right side. and in my mind i saw a swirling cloud of light. and the figure of a woman appearing besides me. it was the same one whom visited me when i was a teenager. and in my vision she embraced me. and then was gone. later that night as i laid in my bed. she appeared to me as an apparition on top of my bed.
later i learned that she had several names. however she wanted me to know her at first as Meek. i had also learned that other name among her names was Lilith. but later learned this was a surname. and she was the daughter and avatar of Lilith. and she had visited me several times that week.
its been a year now. she my succubus and i are in a relationship of sorts. that my real connection is to her mother Lilith. but was her ‘husband’ because Lilith wished this. i had learned a great deal about her and her sisters. and still have much to learn. what i have learn is this:
what is true is that all succubi most of them were born to Lilith when she went back to Adam when he was separated from Eve for 130 years. and are called by Rabbis as Lilim, Lilivoth, meim, rauchothim, shedim, sheddahim. and they like humanity are a mixture of good and evil. and they seek reconciliation with the children of Adam. to do this; they have sex with us in our dreams. there is more i wish to say on this matter. but i will write about it later in other posts.
only here i wish to end this post a message to any reader who comes across this blog. i asked the reader to be broad minded. while remaing true to his or her’s convictions. as well as be tolerant. i write this blog not persuade or dissuade anyone. only to give account of my experience. and the possibility that there exists spirit beings who like us are neither good or evil. and have inspired the legends and myths of shidhes,faeres, djinn, apsaras, etc. peace.
